That's All You're Good For
by Cass Edes
Summary: When Katsa is a little girl, she goes through training to learn how to kill. Then Randa comes to one of her sessions. Violence. My first Graceling fic, let me know if you enjoy it!


I looked around the room, panicked. There wasn't a friendly face in sight, just the people who were usually there: soldiers, an older woman who sometimes came, but always stayed by the door, and Oll, of course. And, today, just to make me feel special, Randa himself had come. The man in front of me stepped towards me again, stabbing a sword at my shoulder. I knew nothing about him save that he was a murderer brought up from the dungeons. I knew he would want to kill me. I found out years later that Oll had told all the prisoners I fought that if they managed to kill me, they would walk free. Luckily, none of them ever came close.

I backed up until I heard Oll's voice from somewhere behind me: "Hold your ground!" I had to do what he said. That was the rule, no matter what. That was the only way to keep everyone safe from me. The man kept coming forward. He was almost within arm's reach when I reacted. It was like someone else was doing it, not me. I stepped forward, ducking under the sword and punching the man in the stomach. I somehow knew that that punch, followed by a kick to the knee, would send him sprawling. He fell and I turned away. Oll usually let me stop after the men fell down. Sometimes he would tell me to break a bone or cause a certain injury, to be sure I knew how to do it properly. But we hadn't practiced anything like that recently.

The man got to his feet again, wincing. I was already walking away when I heard my uncle's voice. "Finish him."

I turned to look at the chair where he sat, watching impassively. "What did you say, my lord?" I was trying to stay calm. My uncle scared me far more than any of the men I fought.

"I said kill him. That's all you're good for, isn't it? Kill the man. Someone else will have to do it later anyway." He waved his hand in dismissal. Pleading, I turned to Oll, who shook his head at me. I had to do it.

The prisoner had heard him, of course. He scrambled to his feet and rushed me again. In a flash I dove underneath his legs as he jumped, leapt to my feet and hit him, hard, in the back of the head. He stumbled away from me, looking around for his sword. Even though he was closer, I was faster and picked it up as he was right on me. I spun around and ran him through before he knew what had happened. I allowed myself a small smile of relief. Now Randa would leave me alone for a while.

He got to his feet, approaching me slowly. Oll came over too, why I'm not sure. My uncle looked at me and laughed. "Look at you! What a perfect little killing machine. She enjoys it even! Look at that smile!" he said to Oll. I didn't like the look on his face.

"I didn't-" I started, but he cut me off.

"Make sure she learns to control herself. I may start sending her on... errands... soon," he said to Oll, ignoring me. "That's all she'll ever be good for, a savage child like that. Look at her! Hair all a tangle, clothes a mess. She's not pretty enough for me to marry off someday. Not to mention that no lord will want a lady Graced with death. Her only value is in destruction. See to it that she is only used for my benefit. With how much she liked killing this one, I've no doubt she'll want to practice her... skills... again soon. I'll give the warden orders to supply you with prisoners whenever you desire. A much more efficient means of execution, I dare say."

During this whole speech, he never looked at me as he evaluated my worth as a tool to him and found only one use: a killing instrument. Maybe that's all I was. The relief I felt, was it from still being alive, or from satisfied a hunger for blood? Was I proud to have survived a man trying to kill me, or was it because I had killed him? Was I enjoying this? Maybe Randa is right. I am just a thug, good for nothing but hurting people.

He finally finished talking to Oll and looked back at me. "Enjoy this easy killing while you can. Soon I'll send you on trips to make harder kills. I know you'll enjoy that." He spoke slowly to me, as if I were stupid and couldn't understand him otherwise. As if I were a monster that lived for death. Maybe I couldn't understand otherwise. Maybe I was a monster. He walked away, Oll with him, leaving me alone in the middle of the court, a dead man at my feet, my shirt covered in his blood.

**I wanted Graceling fics, and I couldn't find any, so I decided to write one. The thought of Randa brainwashing poor Katsa as a child, destroying her self-worth, for some reason wouldn't leave me alone. So I decided to write a scene about it. Please review! I haven't read Bitterblue yet, so anything that for some reason isn't correct is all my fault. Please, if you liked this, review it! If I get five positive reviews or requests, I'll write another scene that's been bugging me for awhile, but I want to know if people liked this one first!  
**


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